Sometimes I think your arm is shaped like a guitar. Seriously. You play it all the time. Even from the farthest corner of the house when you play on a Saturday night I hear you go on and on and on. Sometimes it lulls me to sleep and I have nothing but fondness towards you. Other times I wish I had ear plugs, or brain plugs.

With care you craft every note, because you want to get it right. You know that if you sound the best you can, you are glorifying the Lord. And you don’t accept anything but the best of performance from yourself. Sometimes your drive is an amazing gift. Sometimes it is your downfall. And though often I complain or get annoyed that you are playing the same part over and over, I know it’s a necessary evil. You graciously don’t respond in anger when I have said “give it up all ready” one too many times. You keep playing anyway. You know you need the practice. You know that if you are confident with what you play, you will be able to lead God’s people in worship that much more!

Some may call you a freak of musical nature, because they think it flows out easily like the water from the faucet. But I know better. You are the most musically gifted person I know, however I know how much hard work that “giftedness” takes. I know your musical process is a methodical slow craft. It takes blood, sweat, tears, and hands that ache. But you wear it well, that guitar shaped arm becomes you. It’s a part of you.

God has blessed you for SO much. I get so wrapped up in where it’s all going I often neglect to encourage you in the day to day moments. I am sorry. I’m sorry for not giving you the best of my encouragement every day. When drumming out the lyrics to Amazing Grace did John Newton’s wife hear it from the other room? I wonder what she thought. Was she inspired and blessed? Or was she too busy re-writing his lines in her head… maybe she sang along.

This season is hard for me. God brought both of our artistic and musical minds together for a reason. I love to share that with you! And it’s hard when my hands are full of baby and my shirt is wet with spit up and our toddler is demanding so much of my attention. But my heart is with you. When I see you lead our Church members towards Christ my heart beats strong and proud! When I see you open their hearts through song to be ready to receive the spirit in ways only music can, I route you on. I thank God for the opportunities he has given you through your musical gifts. And I close my eyes in worshiping Him because it is just all so beautiful!

But then, sometimes I sit at the edge of my seat and worry.

Is this what it’s like to be a pastors wife? Hearing a sermon addressed to the congregation wondering if its’ coming across the way he meant it to? Catching his eye, communicating: I believe in you! In what other context is a man’s job so exposed to his family other than men who work in ministry? It’s a job you don’t really come home from, and it’s hard on us all.

But I would not wish for anything different.

I know God has placed us with purpose to be apart of this work! I am more sure of that than anything else in my life right now. Others see their worship leader up there. I see a man. I see my husband. I see the one I love exposed in so many ways. Its both terrifying AND beautiful! And I am grateful.

Grateful for what God has brought us through. Grateful for the amazing place God has brought us now. And so excited for where God is bringing us in the future.

I pray that the Lord continues to bless your music in ways that are unfathomable. I pray that God blows you away with what he is doing through you both today and tomorrow. I love you.

xo, your piano shaped wife ; )