I often delay “doing” out of fear. Being a creative I have a lot of skills and platforms that I could use to tell God’s story in my life. Yet sometimes I squander and wonder and just do nothing. The art of story telling through art and song is a craft that is hard to hone. And out of perfectionism, I often shrink back. But I heard recently from someone older and wiser that giving someone the silent treatment is like committing murder. She referenced this in the bounds of marriage, however I believe it can apply in many areas.
Let me say that again: GIVING SOMEONE THE SILENT TREATMENT IS LIKE COMMITTING MURDER!
As I have mulled this over in my head the last couple days, I have come to a conclusion. My silence hasn’t been a lack of words, but a lack of tending to the projects that I want to accomplish. Projects, ideas that I believe God has given me both the skills and desires to do.
We all need to take breaks, because lets face it we just take in WAY TOO MUCH. And I needed to take a break here (on this blog and in other areas) due to the birth of my youngest and just to figure out some things.
However, I don’t want to be absent, not from things that I feel the Lord has called me to do. I don’t want to give the silent treatment to my creativity, or things that the Lord has given me to tend. Because a garden does not grow without tending to it. My creativity would stand stagnant and wither if I didn’t mind it, or keep it going.
Truthfully my lack of “tending” speaks a bit too well to how I have felt about a lot of things in my life. Spiritually I haven’t grown. I have stuck my heals down out of spite and not moved forward. I have turned from God. I have let hurt and trauma get the best of me where I have basically said to the Lord, I will take the reigns, thank you very much.
And just like that. I give the silent treatment to God, Murder: DEATH.
Sub-continuously: I refuse to talk to you Lord. I don’t think your worth the time. I obviously think little of what you have done and what you are going to do.
UNBELIEF.
Wow.
Obviously I too easily forget what the Lord has done. But he has taken my heals that I dug down so deep and kept them from sinking. And I continue to fight back. BUT he always wins.
With his tender love he refuses to leave me in my muck. He calls to me and says daughter you do not have to fight these days on your own. For I am ALWAYS with you!
Oh God forgive me for my unbelief. You are a God you keeps your promises. Oh help me to remember. Now and forever.
I saw this promise keeping God clearly as I read 2 Samuel 7 this week where God presents the Davidic line. David wants to build a temple for the Lord. But God says no, because I am building a temple through you! Through your descendants I am building an even greater temple! And again at the beginning of Matthew where it lists out the lineage of Jesus. Even when there wasn’t an “obvious” king, the LORD was still at work! His promises were being fulfilled. Just like they are today, each and every day.
Oh Lord I repent of my unbelief. Show me Jesus, let me see him and know him for who He is. And help me to turn to Jesus when my humanity refuses to turn. Physically turn me if you have to! For I already feel the bruises of your lovingly strong fatherly grip, turning my body towards yours. In love you have disciplined me: gripping my shoulders, saying “GIVE ME YOUR EYES”. I give my eyes to you Oh God, from wince my help comes. THANK YOU for faithfully pursuing me, despite the ugliness of my heart. Thank you for loving me still. You are worthy to be praised. YOU ALONE are worthy to be praised!
Amen.
Acts 3:19 “Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord”
***Dear reader, whomever you may be. May this turn your own heart toward repentance. Not for pure repentance alone, but that you would repent and turn to the feet of Jesus because it is in him and only him, dear one, that you and I will find true peace. This was very much inspired from the last week’s study of the #shereadstruth lent study. Take a look at it if you are interested in further bible study.
